2021

2021…Am I better for it?

Ummmm, let me start by saying, “Wow 2021! You didn’t last 40 years but man, it sure felt like it”

Now…Let’s do a little walk down memory lane:

January-the beginning of a new year full of hope. However, the continuing threat of an ongoing pandemic continued to control everything we once knew as “normal.”

February-SNOWMAGGEDON and guess what, while pipes were bursting, electricity was scarce and people were scrambling to find food that you didn’t have to cook, all to find out the grocery shelves were bare, my husband and I were enjoying, trying to enjoy, a week in Oahu! And, when I say, “Trying” that is not an exaggeration. Because while a lot of our “world” was struggling with no heat and no water, including our children and grands, our oldest granddaughter, Braeleigh, became ill and ended up having to have an emergency appendectomy.  All I wanted to do was go home but, there were no flights going out. So, we laid on the beach and pretended to enjoy the sun and the waves.

Added to the Snowmaggedon and the trip to Hawaii was the pleasure of meeting a precious IG friend, Cammi. If you know her, you love her.

March-from a personal point of view, all was decently good. However, the ongoing scare of the “pandemic” and the variants of the virus, “mandates,” criminal activity in our country such as the, “Smash and grabs,” the disrespect across the board like I’ve never seen in my 61 years, and on and on in what seemed like a cultural wilderness.

April-Ahhh, April. Thank you…you brought Covid into our home, my husband and I both were down, and it crept into the home of my sister-in-law, Karen.  Honestly, I caused Covid to creep into Karen’s house because I asked her to take a road trip with me to south Texas for a wedding knowing I didn’t feel well. I hadn’t felt well for a few days, actually, felt awful but thinking all I had was my annual sinus infection. What I didn’t know was that I was making us both sick!! Nice going, April!

Oh, there was a bright spot for the month of April…I resigned from my management position of 23 years. As my son said, “Wow, mom. That was like 5 years overdue!” But, he was right. I hadn’t really enjoyed my position for many years but held on to the fact, that I loved my staff, well, most of them 🙂 and I thought they couldn’t make it without me. Turns out…they can!

Plus, in all honesty, I was afraid to let go of my income. I truly thought we weren’t going to make it. Looking back, I now realize it was my lack of faith that kept me from leaving years before I actually did. My lack of faith and trust in my Father allowed me to think it was all about me and not about Him. Boy, has He shown me a thing or two about learning to trust Him as his plan has played out. We haven’t missed a meal, a vacation, and my love for shopping hasn’t been curbed! LOL God had a plan all along, I just had to trust Him.

May-My sister in law, Karen, had a cancer scare. And, in our normal family fashion, that meant our whole family had a cancer scare. That’s just how we roll! Also, if you cared to watch the news, you heard on a daily basis about school shootings and ummm, was that the month that we started hearing about the cargo ships sitting with our “stuff” on them? Oh wait! Maybe that was another month. I’ll get back to that.

June-another month that from a personal stance, all was decently good. Well, except for the increasing cost of every living thing and the fact that suicide rates were increasing and human trafficking was on the rise. Other than that, it was peachy!

July-Ahhhh, Independance Day…or was it?!? I’ll just leave that right there. Oh, and on a positive note: Karen found out there was no cancer to be scared of! PTL

August-Gun violence increases, more and more Corona updates, bombs threats, etc. You know, just living the life!!

September-Okay, back to my resignation. So, yes, I turned my resignation letter in sometime in April, but giving them plenty of time to replace me, like several months notice. But, I did state that  September 27 would be my last day. And, when that day came, I cried, I cried HARD, like ugly hard. Why? Because it had been a big part of my life for a very long time. And, like all things that become a part of your fabric, when the fabric starts to fray, it makes you a little sad. Well, unless it’s a pair of denim britches! Frayed denim is a good thing!! 🙂

And…Covid strikes again, twice in fact.  This time with our daughter, Stephanie. She had a mild case but for a household of 5, including an infant, that was an ordeal for them and this mama’s heart. And, it hit our cousin, Janette, hard. She was hospitalized, placed on a vent and there were many times her husband shared that it was scary.

On a bright note: my husband and I celebrated our 43 anniversary in Pensacola, Florida. And, it was good to get away and forget all the hard things for a few days.

October-Okayy, more corona updates, more world wide violence causing unrest in many parts of the world. Ships still sitting with all of our “stuff” and we’re warned that we better start Christmas shopping now because the shipping issues will cause major disappointment if things don’t arrive by Christmas. Our granddaughter, Braeleigh, struggles with high blood pressure and after multiple tests, labs and doctors visits, we find out she has Nutcracker Syndrome.  Weird name, I know, but prayerfully, she will outgrow it.

Bright note, I flew to Florida to meet up with 3 sweet, sweet blogger friends. Oh my gosh…what a great trip. Kelley, Terri and Emily are the sweetest. And, we’re hoping to meet up again in the new year.  And, our cousin, Janette, was released from the hospital after many long weeks of being induced into a coma. The stories she now tells will make your skin creep.

November-One of our great nephews, Jackson, who is 12, was diagnosed with a rare form of a brain tumor. They are still waiting final reports from doctor after brain surgery and hopefully will hear something in January. However, he’s doing very well. PTL

Sadly, Covid struck once again and this time it was my precious sister, Lyn. Lyn was healthy, strong, faithful and was the heartbeat of our family. She was the super glue to all that held us together. But, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, she called an ambulance to take her to the hospital, never to return home. Lyn was the big sister I never had and to be honest, was the gift I never knew I needed when I married my husband 43 years ago. I had no idea what a huge role she would play in my life but the longer I’ve been married and grew to know her, I knew she was a precious gift God knew I needed long before I did. But, of course, it is His omniscient nature to know all.

I must admit…the next month, December, is a real struggle for me.

December-December 1 our precious Lyn went home to be with Jesus. It’s still unbelievable. Still hurts. Still makes me sad. And, I still pick up the phone to call her.

Christmas week…Covid strikes again. This time it was our son, Ryan. And, it was actually our second Christmas without Ryan and his family as he had Covid last Christmas as well.

And, of this date, those dang ships are still sitting with one of the Christmas presents we ordered for our granddaughter, Cori. And, every time you turn on the news, you are being warned to scale down your holiday celebrations with loved ones. And, so it goes…

Before I continue, please know that what my year looked like may actually look like a piece of cake compared to yours. Trust me, I realize many have suffered more, and to that end, my heart breaks for you.

Personally, the year 2021 looked like it was going to come off it’s hinges. And, while I’m refusing to focus on all of the pain, hurt, sickness and sadness, admittedly, I’ve struggled off and on. And, most of my struggle was with God. I felt like the Israelites in the wilderness, though, only for 12 months vs 40 years. I complained, I cried, I got mad and I became very sad. And, yet, God provided all I needed, all my family needed and more. His grace he never withheld and his mercy was everlasting.  And, just like the Israelites in the wilderness, God’s been up to something big. In the wilderness, it took hunger to get their attention. I mean, you can only eat so much manna!!

2021 took me down and it hurt!  It took me through a lonely wilderness of wondering if God was hearing my prayers for my children, my grandchildren, my husband, my family/friends and my country. Many times I just cried, screamed out to Him, “WHY, WHY, WHY???” I literally felt like my prayers fell on deaf ears and at times, I just figured why bother! But, you know what, he heard me, he never left me and he reminded me, “I don’t have to understand Him, I just need to trust Him.”

So, I’d say 2021 took everything, including a spiritual hunger, to realize He’s still in control, He’s still God and He’s still faithful. And, He meets our needs in the most unexpected ways. We just need to have the eyes to see it.

I’m not going to forget 2021…the year of change, loss and fear. But, as is God’s merciful nature, he grew me, he stretched me, increased my character and he provided for me. I know that while I wish for our sweet Lyn to still be with us, when God took her home, he did it with his gentle, guiding hands of mercy and grace. And, I’m still here, knowing he’s not finished with me and his plans are BIG and they are GOOD and most definitely, his ways are not mine because his are perfect.

To sum up 2021, “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand” Isaiah 64:8

So, like so many of you that choose a word for the new year, I cannot pick just one, I have two words for 2022. The first one is TRUST but not in people, agendas, media, political platfom or organizations.  No, my trust is in my heavenly Father, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. My second word for 2022 is HOPE…because my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.

“On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand…”

Did 2021 make me better? Yes, because that was what God intended. And, trust me when I say that I end many prayers with, “Lord, thank you for loving me more than I deserve and for staying with me” He never left…

2021…you were a doozy! And, 2022, I have no idea what you have planned but I know who does! So, c’mon, I’m ready for you.

Happy New Year to you and yours. And, remember that while 2022 is full of the unknown, it’s all known to the One that loves us most.

Love,

Wendy xo